Building Trust and Strong Connections: 110+ Questions to Ask as a Manager

Updated: October 20, 2024

Good leaders understand that success goes beyond managing tasks and meeting targets. Building trust and strong relationships with team members is vital, not only for their professional development but also for their overall well-being.

One key aspect of cultivating psychological safety and trust is through the art of asking personal and social questions.

By going beyond the surface-level conversations and genuinely getting to know your team, we can build connections that lead to increased trust, engagement, and collaboration-and productivity!

Personal questions during the 1:1

  • How are you? (sounds simple but this can go a long way!)

  • How has your week been going?

  • How are you feeling lately?

  • What are your roses and thorns?

  • What are your roses, buds, and thorns?

  • How are you finding work-life balance lately?

  • Has anything exciting or noteworthy happened recently to you, outside of work?

Social questions in team meetings

  • What’s 1 thing you’re looking forward to?

  • What activities or hobbies do you enjoy outside of work?

  • What are you reading/watching/listening to?

  • What’s a book or movie you enjoyed recently, and why?

  • What was the last concert you attended?

  • If you could only bring 1 question to a desert island, what 1 song would you bring?

  • Share one item from your bucket list.

  • Who is your all-time favorite band, music group, or performer?

  • If you were a city, which city would you choose and why?

  • If you could time travel, which era would you visit and why?

  • What's one thing on your desk or workspace that has special meaning to you

  • Share one interesting fact about yourself that most people don't know.

  • What's the best piece of advice you have ever received?

  • What are two things you would consider yourself to be good at / bad at?

  • Who is your hero? Why?

  • What do you consider your 'superpower'?

  • What do you value, more than anything else?

  • What do you tend to have a longer learning curve around, compared to others?

  • What’s your go-to recipe?

  • Do you have a secret hobby?

  • If you could go anywhere in the world right now, where would you go?

  • What do you value the most: time, recognition/status, or money?

  • What do people over or underestimate about you?

  • Have you ever won an award? If yes, for what?

  • What was the most agonizing hour of your life?

  • What’s the craziest thing you’ve ever done?

  • What hobbies did you enjoy when you were young, but no longer do?

  • What new hobby do you wish you could pick up now?

  • What was the best mistake you made that turned out really well?

  • If money were no object, where would you live?

  • What makes you nervous?

  • What trip was the most transformative for you in your life so far?

  • What was your first job? Worst job?

  • What did you want to be when you were 10 years old?

  • If you could sit down with your 15-year-old self what would you tell them?

  • If you could enroll in a PhD program for free, what would you study?

Questions inspired by the NYT 36 questions to fall in love (yes you can ask some of these at work too!)

  • Given the choice of anyone in the world, whom would you want as a dinner guest?

  • Would you like to be famous? In what way?

  • What would constitute a “perfect” day for you?

  • If you were able to live to the age of 90 and retain either the mind or body of a 30-year-old for the last 60 years of your life, which would you want?

  • For what in your life do you feel most grateful?

  • If you could wake up tomorrow having gained any one quality or ability, what would it be?

  • If a crystal ball could tell you the truth about yourself, your life, the future or anything else, what would you want to know?

  • Is there something that you’ve dreamed of doing for a long time? Why haven’t you done it?

  • What is the greatest accomplishment of your life?

  • What do you value most in a friendship?

  • What is your most treasured memory?

  • What is your most terrible memory?

  • If you knew that in one year you would die suddenly, would you change anything about the way you are now living? Why?

  • Your house, containing everything you own, catches fire. After saving your loved ones and pets, you have time to safely make a final dash to save any one item. What would it be? Why?

Questions inspired by Patrick Lencioni

  • When have you felt the most frightened?

  • Other than your parents, who had the greatest positive impact on you? What did the person do? How did you feel about it?

  • What are you most proud of professionally? Personally?

  • What is a mistake you made professionally that you wish you had a do-over on? Personally?

  • Personal histories:

    • Where did you grow up?

    • How many siblings do you have and where do you fall in that order?

    • Please describe three challenges from your childhood, how you overcame them, and how it impacts your work style (or leadership style) today (thanks to Rob Forman for this spin!)

Questions inspired by the Proust Questionnaire

Marcel Proust was a French essayist who popularized these questions and claimed that answering these questions helps individuals discover their true selves. These questions are still used today by popular interviewers and media publications, like The Guardian.

  • What is your idea of perfect happiness?

  • What is your greatest fear?

  • What is the trait you most deplore in yourself?

  • What is the trait you most deplore in others?

  • Which living person do you most admire?

  • What is your greatest extravagance?

  • What do you consider the most overrated virtue?

  • Which living person do you most despise?

  • Which words or phrases do you most overuse?

  • When and where were you happiest?

  • Which talent would you most like to have?

  • If you could change one thing about yourself, what would it be?

  • What do you consider your greatest achievement?

  • If you were to die and come back as a person or a thing, what would it be?

  • Where would you most like to live?

  • What is your most treasured possession?

  • Which historical figure do you most identify with?

  • Who are your heroes in real life?

  • What is your greatest regret?

Questions from The Hygge Game

Introductory questions

  • Are you allergic to anything?

  • What is your favorite guilty pleasure? 

  • How far back can you trace your family tree? 

  • What’s the longest you’ve ever gone without sleep?

  • What is the strangest thing you have ever eaten? 

  • What is the most delicious meal you’ve ever eaten?

  • What do you know how to make or build with your hands?

  • What’s the most impressive recipe you know how to cook?

  • If you could only have one app on your phone, what would it be?

  • Did your parents ever try to steer you toward any particular career? 

  • When you were a kid, what did you want to be when you grew up?

  • If you had to show a tourist one place where you live, where would you take them? 

  • If you could take a week long vacation anywhere in the world by yourself, where would you go?

Opinion-based questions

  • What is the most enjoyable way to spend $50?

  • Is it okay to lie to avoid hurting someone’s feelings?

  • What movie do you wish they would make a sequel to?

  • What are you looking forward to in the next 12 months?

  • Share one thing that most people don’t know about you. 

  • Have you ever achieved one of your New Year’s resolutions?

  • What city really exceeded your expectations the first time you visited it? 

  • If you could go back and relive one day of your life, what day would it be?

  • If you had a time machine, would you rather travel to the future or to the past? 

  • If you could have 1 million of anything except money, what would you choose?

Deep-level questions

  • Who has been the biggest role model in your life? 

  • Who is the most interesting person you’ve ever met?

  • When was the last time you felt proud of something? 

  • What do you think will be the biggest change in your life five years from now?

  • If you could pass one law that everyone would have to follow, what would it be? 

  • Can you think of a time when you were really in the right place at the right time?

  • Name something you look back at and think “I cannot believe I was afraid of that.”

  • Do you have anything that is not monetary but has so much sentimental value to you that you won’t sell it for $1,000?

  • If you could give one piece of advice based on your experience from the past few years, what would it be? 

Questions for the whole company

  • Share highlights, lowlights, photos from your weekend! 🔥 TIP: schedule this every Monday morning in Slack.

  • Happy [holiday name]! How did you celebrate?

  • Share your current song on repeat. 🔥 TIP: create a playlist based on everybody’s picks.


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